Helikaraoke
by LoquaciousQuibbler
Summary: A collection of oneshots wherein the Avengers sing their own versions of songs. When did the Helicarrier become the set of The Avengers Musical? Ah, well, it's bound to be interesting… not to mention funny. Includes all the Avengers, sometimes Loki, and my OC Naomi Carson.
1. Get Lucky

Dear Reader: this is a Misadventure of the Avengers. This means that it is one of many random stories for entertainment value only. This Misadventure will include my Original Character, Naomi Carson. You don't necessarily have to read my fan fiction starring her… just know that she, in the fan fiction, is an Avenger. She is just one of the characters, and the story isn't focused solely on her, so you can enjoy this story without reading hers. Keep in mind that the Misadventures are purely entertainment, and don't necessarily have anything to do with the actual Avengers storyline. The Misadventures are meant purely to entertain the insanely bored Avengers fans, like myself. Guess that's all… continue… at your own risk. O.O

Heli-Karaoke

Get Loki

It was just after the incident in Germany, and the Avengers were in the control room discussing their plan. It was the middle of the night by now, nearly midnight. Tony Stark and Bruce Banner had already finished planning how to track the Tesseract, and were now simply putting the plan into effect with a lot of fancy technology and computers displaying radar and graphs.

It was already well-established that Tony Stark was the most irritating person on the entire ship, excepting Naomi Carson. One would think that the two biggest jokers and wisecracks would get along well, but they surprisingly didn't. They had spent the whole night so far insulting each other and causing lots of trouble for the other agents and Avengers.

"Would you guys shut up already?" Natasha Romanoff asked exasperatedly, rubbing her forehead.

Naomi Carson and Tony Stark looked up from where they were both peering at a computer screen, having a heated discussion.

"No, we can't stop!" Naomi protested. "I _have _to prove this to this idiot," she smacked the back of Stark's head.

"I'm telling you, you're wrong. There is absolutely no way," Tony said haughtily.

Steve looked around sleepily. "I stopped listening a while ago… what are they arguing about now?"

"No, don't ask—" Bruce tried to stop Steve, but Tony and Naomi were glaring at each other again.

"I'm _trying _to get it through Stark's thick skull that Bella is _totally _meant to be with Edward and not Jacob," Naomi said forcefully.

"Give it up, Carson," Stark said heatedly. "You're wrong. Jacob and Bella really should have ended up together in the end. Even ask Stephenie Meyers. If she listened to my reasoning, she would rewrite the books and make Bella end up with Jacob. My reasoning is flawless."

Natasha was now banging her head on the table. "You just _had _to ask, didn't you, Rogers?"

Steve looked exceedingly sorry. "I didn't mean to… I thought they would actually be arguing about something useful… you know, like what Loki's plan might be, or where he might have had the Tesseract hidden… didn't realize they were fighting about… I don't even want to know."

"Twilight," Naomi and Tony said in unison, then glared at each other.

"I've heard enough about it in the last hour, and I'm fairly sure I want to hear no more of the teen angst of Miss Bella," Thor said tiredly. "I thought humans were more evolved than this."

"Then you guys go to bed," Tony dismissed with a wave of his hand. "The only ones that actually need to be up are me and Bruce, anyways. We're working on the tracking of the Tesseract."

Bruce rolled his eyes. "No, _I'm _ working on tracking the Tesseract while you and Naomi look up the books and demonstrate with excerpts from the story that Bella is meant to be with one guy over the other. I'm kind of amazed I haven't turned into the other guy yet."

Tony shrugged and grinned. "In any case, the only ones that need to still be up are me and Bruce. The rest of you can get a few winks."

The others just grumbled.

Naomi raised her eyebrows at Stark. "You just want me to leave because you know I'm right."

"Not true. I want you to leave because I know you're wrong, and you won't listen to me anymore," Tony said. "Now shoo."

Naomi glared. "I'm gonna stay up all night."

Tony sighed. "You're staying up all night?" He paused and smirked. "For what?"

Naomi cocked an eyebrow. "Um… for the mission, I guess."

"And the mission is what, exactly, Agent Carson?" Tony smirked more broadly. "You're up all night to do what?"

Naomi frowned. "I don't see what you're trying to get at here."

Tony smiled. "You're up all night to get Loki?"

Naomi blinked, thinking over his words. She laughed a little. "I'm up all night to get Loki."

"We're up all night to get Loki," Tony said, his voice adopting a beat and rhythm.

"I'm up all night to get Loki, I'm up all night to get Loki," the two sang together.

Naomi jumped to the next line, inserting her own version. "He's Odin's least favorite son."

Tony jumped in with his own version of the next line. "Taking him down will be fun."

"His reindeer helmet is dumb," Naomi said, and they both laughed.

"We're up all night to get Loki! He's Odin's least favorite son; taking him down will be fun; his reindeer helmet is dumb; We're up all night to get Loki! We're up all night to get Loki! We're up all night to get Loki!" they sang at the top of their lungs, bouncing to the beat and skipping around now.

"We're up all night to get Loki! He's Odin's least favorite son! Taking him down will be fun! His reindeer helmet is dumb! We're up all night to get Loki!" they continued singing at the top of their lungs, linking their elbows and running in a circle, laughing their heads off.

The others stared at them open-mouthed.

"Am I missing something?" Steve murmured to Natasha.

"Um… they're making a parody of a song…" Natasha said, stunned.

"And they're getting along?" Thor asked quietly, staring at the pair in the center of the room as they danced and sang wholeheartedly.

"Evidently," Bruce said numbly, staring.

None of them were sure if they should be laughing. The other agents in the control room had fallen silent, staring at the genius and the SHIELD agent.

"We're up all night to get Loki!" the two said one last time before collapsing into chairs, their faces red from laughing.

"Oh, my God, that was awesome," Naomi said, rubbing her cheeks.

"That was beyond awesome, that was epic," tony agreed, laughing.

The two finally got ahold of themselves and grinned at each other. They paused, realizing what had just happened. Their grins turned into glares.

"Whatever," Naomi said, turning away.

"Yeah, whatever," tony said dismissively.

Everyone else continued staring at them.

"Well then…" Nick Fury said slowly, looking between the two Avengers. "That was… interesting. Anyone catch that on video?"

Several agents around the room raised their hands, indicating their cell phones. Another pointed to the surveillance cameras in the corners of the room.

"Oh, crap," Tony and Naomi said in unison, slapping their hands to their foreheads in embarrassment.

Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: Oh my God that was just epic… The original song they were doing was "Get Lucky" by Daft Punk… I like our version better. ;) When that song first came out, we would joke around and sing "We're up all night to get Loki," but I added in more lyrics and decided Tony and Naomi should sing it, finally getting along for once… I'm thinking I would love to do some more Avengers versions of songs. I think it'll be hard to beat "Get Loki" though… I want suggestions, by the way, for future parodies. If you give me just a line or two for the Avengers version, along with the name of the original song, I think I'll be good. But I do need some kind of starting point before I can make the whole parody. If you have suggestions for certain people singing in certain situations, I would be glad for those, too. I already have a few lined up for future chapters… parodies of "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey, "Ain't it Fun" by Paramore, "Roar" by Katy Perry, "Jesus, Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood, "Billionaire" by Bruno Mars and Travie McCoy, "Kids in America" by Kim Wilde… But I'd be happy for more suggestions. I think this fic can go on as long as I have ideas for parodies and one-shots for them to be in.

By the way, I own the parody lyrics to this song in this oneshot. With thanks to my sisters and mother, I suppose. You guys have permission to use these parody lyrics, as long as you give credit.

Thank'ee very much.

Please favorite, follow, and review.


	2. Jesus, Take the Wheel

Heli-karaoke

Tony, Take the Wheel

No one was quite sure how the topic came up, or whose bright idea it was, or why _all _the Avengers had to be there to witness it… but for some reason Thor was being taught to drive.

Yeah, no one else knew how that happened, either. But somehow everyone was now crammed into a Suburban, listening as Tony instructed Thor on how the car worked.

Thor was in the driver's seat, Tony in the passenger's, while Banner and Natasha sat in the middle row, which left Naomi, Steve, and Clint in the back row.

"Is it really a good idea for all of us to be in here for Thor's first time driving?" Bruce asked, sounding a little nervous. "I mean, wouldn't it be better for it to just be the student and instructor?"

"What, you don't want to see Thor drive for the first time?" Tony asked challengingly.

"Sure we want to see!" Natasha said, mock cheerfulness in her voice. "Just… from _outside _the car, where there's less chance of crashing, burning, and dying horrific deaths…"

Thor threw a nervous glance backwards over his shoulder at the passengers. "You think we shall crash and burn and die?"

Tony put a hand on Thor's face and forced him to look forward instead of back. "Always keep your eyes forward, Thor. If you want to look at the others in the back, look in the rearview mirror," Tony instructed.

Thor blinked in confusion. "Where is the rearview mirror?"

Clint slapped a hand to his forehead as Tony had to show the god of thunder where the rearview mirror was located.

"Ah, I see," Thor smiled and looked into the mirror. "I can now see my comrades through this little mirror."

Naomi shrank down into her seat and glanced at Steve, who sat next to her. "I don't know about you, but I'm frankly kind of petrified."

Steve frowned around at everyone else. "We should all have some faith in Thor. He can do this; I'm sure he'll do brilliantly, and you'll all be ashamed that you doubted him. I, personally, am happy that I get the opportunity that I get to see Thor do this for the first time. It's going to be a special moment, and you'll be sorry if you miss it."

Tony grinned. "That's the spirit. For once I commend your bombastic motivational pep speeches, Cap!"

Steve started to smile appreciatively, then paused and frowned as he thought more carefully about Stark's words. He let out a humph and crossed his arms.

"Okay, now…" Tony returned his attention to Thor. "Ready?"

Thor began nodding vigorously and leaned down, evidently reaching for the car's floor.

"Um… whatcha doing there, Thor?" Tony asked casually.

"You said you have to push the pedals to make the car go," Thor frowned.

"Oh, yeah, but Thor… you keep your hands on the steering wheel and push the pedals with your _feet_," Tony explained sheepishly.

Thor brightened. "Ah, I understand."

"We're gonna die," Natasha muttered to herself.

Tony cleared his throat, appearing nervous now as well. He handed Thor the car keys, and Thor succeeded in starting the car. "Seatbelt, Thor?"

Thor nodded and strapped his seatbelt. He released the emergency brake.

There was a moment of tense silence as the Avengers screwed up their faces and prepared for Thor to slam his foot on the gas and send the car flying forward. Nothing happened for a long moment.

"Hmm… Stark? You said you press the left pedal to go, correct?"

"Oh, my God, we _are _going to die," Steve whispered in horror.

Tony threw a glare back at the terrified passengers. "Uh, no, Thor, the _right _pedal is the gas. Press the left one to stop. That's the brake."

Thor nodded in understanding, then smiled reassuringly at the man in the passenger seat. "Ah, right. I only forgot for a moment. So gas is left and brake is right."

"No, other way around."

Thor frowned. "So… left is gas, and _right _is brake…"

"_No!_" Everyone exclaimed in unison.

"Thor, right is gas. Press the right pedal to go," Banner said in exasperation. "God, I'm going to have a heart attack if he says it wrong again—"

The car lurched forward, tearing down the empty country road Tony had brought them all to for this little escapade.

Natasha and Clint let out little screams of alarm in unison, grabbing onto their seats and the grab handles above their seats. Banner looked like he was going to be sick as the car continued to gather increasing speed, a blur on the empty road. Naomi was determinedly squeezing her eyes shut, head bowed and hands clenched in her lap. Steve appeared to be both trying not to shriek in terror and pray at the same time., his hands pressed together and he was mumbling something in a high-pitched voice. Thor and Tony, however, looked like they were having the time of their lives, with huge grins plastered on their faces.

"Whoo! You're a natural, Thor!" Tony exclaimed, flattened to his seat from the speed of the car, which was still increasing. With a laugh, he hit a button on the dashboard, and 'Jesus Take the Wheel' started playing. Tony held his arms in the air like it was a rollercoaster.

Thor laughed heartily and started to throw his hands in the air as well, letting go of the steering wheel.

_Everyone _screamed as the Suburban swerved violently, and Thor quickly grabbed the steering wheel again, looking alarmed.

"_Thor!_" the Avengers shrieked in unison.

"Heh, hands on the wheel, buddy," tony laughed shakily, his face white as a marshmallow.

"I am sorry, my friends!" Thor called back to them, turning in his seat to give them an apologetic look.

"Gah! Hands on the wheel and eyes on the road, Thor!" Tony shouted as the car swerved off the road and began crashing through a corn field.

The inside of the car was now pandemonium, with various Avengers screaming curses and/or advice and/or prayers, and Carrie Underwood sang Jesus Take the Wheel in the background. At some point, Natasha had managed to scramble into the backseat, and she and Clint were clinging to each other in terror, while Rogers had found his way to behind the driver's seat, shouting something about "Left pedal! Left pedal, Thor!" Bruce had curled up into a ball on his seat, shaking his head and muttering something about "never got to meet Steven Hawking… had so much left to do…" Tony was simply sitting, frozen with shock, staring at the corn field around them, still being plowed by the Suburban, which Thor, for some reason, still hadn't stopped. After Naomi managed to stop herself from puking, she shouted up to the front of the car. "Tony, take over!"

Tony snapped out of it and looked back at her wildly. "What?"

Naomi let out an exasperated breath and… sang: "_Tony, take the wheel! Take it from Thor's hands!_"

The others froze and turned to stare at her, singing along with Carrie Underwood, but changing the lyrics.

"_I really don't think he should drive; I don't wanna die!_"

"_I may have wet my pants,_" Natasha sang weakly, and Clint quickly shoved her away from him.

"_Even my faith in Thor is gone_," Steve sang out.

"_Oh, Tony, take the whee-ee-ee-eel!_" they all sang desperately.

"_Oh, take it, take it, take it from me now_," Thor sang quietly, looking just as scared as the rest of them.

"Thor, press down the _left pedal!_" Tony instructed, and the car suddenly slammed to a stop, sending Steve sprawling across Thor and Tony's laps, and the others to smack their faces on the seats in front of them.

"Smeg," Naomi muttered, rubbing her forehead.

Everyone was silent for a moment, except Carrie Underwood, who was apparently on repeat. They breathed hard and looked around at each other in horror.

Thor swallowed and slowly pried his fingers away from the steering wheel. He meekly unbuckled his seatbelt and opened his door. He walked around to the passenger side and opened that door. "St-Stark? Please… do the honors of driving us out of this field and back to Stark Tower. I believe we all need a change of undergarments."

"Also, you may need to buy a new Suburban," Banner said faintly. "I think we kind of made a mess of this one."

Tony slowly unbuckled his seatbelt and took the driver's seat. The Avengers all exchanged looks.

"Note to self: don't let Thor drive," Tony muttered. "Also, don't let the Avengers sing. Leave that to Carrie Underwood."

_ "Tony, take the wheel,"_ the others sang quietly, sheepishly grinning.

**Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: Thor driving… doesn't sound like a great idea, what do you say? Lol I think this would be a funny one shot even without the parody song involved… Original song is "Jesus, Take the Wheel" by Carrie Underwood. **

**I own the parody song lyrics contained in this one shot. **

**Please favorite, follow, and review. Suggestions welcome. **


	3. Don't Stop Believing

Heli-Karaoke

Don't Stop Believing

The Avengers hung out in Stark Tower after a long day's work. They were rather bored, actually.

Most were playing Monopoly on the floor, while Dr. Banner was reading a newspaper and Thor simply watched the game, still a little unsure of how it worked.

"Ha! You owe me…" Tony Stark calculated quickly. "$1700. Cough it up, Legolas," he demanded, holding out his hand to the archer.

Barton made a face and pulled a few bills from his slowly dwindling stash.

Tony grinned as he double checked that he had gotten the right amount of cash before sorting the bills proudly. "Now…. Who is the next to fall into my lovely hotel?"

Stark was dominating the game, owning nearly half the property, slowly sucking the others dry of their money.

Naomi, who was next to roll the dice, grimaced.

"Come now, Carson, let's play the game," Tony coaxed. "Give the dice a little toss… you can get a one, two, four, or six."

"Which translates to… get either a three or five," Thor said knowingly. "Otherwise you shall have to pay Stark a great deal of money, and you may have to mortgage some of your property, Agent Carson."

"Yeah, thanks, Thor. I had no idea how to play this game," Naomi said sarcastically.

Tony grinned. "Toss the dice, Carson."

Naomi pulled a face at the billionaire and tossed the dice… at his head.

"Hey!" he protested as the dice hit his forehead.

Everyone giggled as Tony picked up the dice and gave it back to Naomi, who rolled it for real this time.

"Shoot… two," she muttered and she landed on one of Tony's hotels.

She was forced to pay up, as did the next two people who went (Rogers and Romanoff).

"Are you guys sure robbing the bank is against the rules?" Barton complained.

Tony glared. "Hey, I'm the banker!"

"Precisely," Romanoff nodded. "It'd help us all out if you went broke, Tony."

"Would not!" Tony protested. "Just play the game by the rules."

"I'll pay the assassins my 'get out of jail free' card if they rob the bank," Naomi put in, flapping her card.

Barton and Romanoff exchanged grins. "What say you we take the generous payment? Romanoff asked.

Barton gave her thumbs up. "It'll be just like Bangkok."

"Or Cairo. I think it's closer to Cairo than the Bangkok situation," Romanoff added.

"Except Stark is more like Suttikul than Massri, so it's more like Bangkok," Barton countered.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "It really doesn't matter, Clint… Hey, it's kind of like Dublin, if you think of Stark as O'Frederick."

The others were now looking between the two assassins with interest.

"Exactly how many missions have you guys been on together?" Steve asked curiously.

The Black Widow and Hawk Eye paused to consider. "Dunno," they said in unison. "A few."

"How long have you guys known each other?" Dr. Banner asked, no longer reading his newspaper.

The two glanced at each other. "A while… I dunno," they shrugged.

"How'd you guys meet?" Tony asked.

Natasha froze as Clint grinned. "Now _that _is a fun story…"

"Clint, _don't you dare_…" Natasha started threateningly.

"I gotta hear this," Naomi smiled, leaning forward eagerly.

Natasha glared at Clint. "Don't you dare tell them."

Clint sighed and bowed his head. "Okay… I won't tell the story."

Natasha sighed in relief and everyone else looked disappointed.

Clint suddenly grinned. "I won't tell the story… I'll _sing _it."

Everyone stared at Clint, open mouthed with excitement while Natasha looked horrified. "Don't… you… dare…" she breathed.

Clint opened his mouth and, at the top of his lungs, sang, "_Just a Russian spy!_"

Everyone burst out laughing while Natasha turned crimson.

"_Didn't care if she lived or died! She took a midnight plane to her next mission!" _Clint sang while everyone started rolling on the floor with laughter.

"_Just an agent for SHIELD! He was an expert in his field! He took a midnight plane to his next mission!_" Clint sang.

"Clint, _shut up!_" Natasha yelled, grabbing a pillow from the couch and swinging it at Clint, but he just jumped up and skipped out of her reach.

Everyone giggled as Natasha scrambled to her feet and started chasing Clint around the living room as he continued singing.

"_You can't see through the smoky haze! From the exploding hand grenades! But now the two are on the same side, because he made a different call! Secret agents! Never letting down their guard! They're shadows, sneaking through the nigh-igh-ight! Shooting people! Working hard to save the wo-o-orld! _Hey! Natasha! Quit!"

The Black Widow had finally managed to tackle Hawk Eye to the ground and was assaulting him rather violently with the couch pillow. "_I… said… shut… up!_" she exclaimed, bringing the pillow down on the laughing man with every word. She was blushing crimson, and everyone else was the same color, but only from laughing so hard.

"D'aww… Didn't know your meeting was so… musical," Tony choked out, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye as he tried to sit up from where he had fallen over, laughing so hard.

The two assassins came back to sit back at the Monopoly game, Clint grinning like an idiot while Natasha threw him mutinous glares.

"Now… whose turn is it?" Tony asked. "Me?" he reached for the dice, then paused as he looked at his place. "Um… where's my money?"

Natasha and Clint exchanged grins and high-fived. Meanwhile, the other players were counting out the money that had been surreptitiously handed to them.

"Hey! Robbing other players and/or the bank is against the rules!" Tony fumed. "I'm never gonna win if you guys took all my money!"

"Oh, Tony, you can still win," Clint coaxed. He winked at Tony and then nudged Natasha. He burst into song again. "_Don't stop… believing!" _

**Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: This one was fun. One, just picturing the Avengers playing Monopoly… Two, Clint singing… Three, a kind of-ish Black Hawk moment… I can't help it; I totally ship them… and four? **_**Don't Stop Believing **_**by Journey, SHIELD style. It's an awesome song, but I simply had to make it a parody. So now every time you hear that song, sing along: Just a Russian spy… **

**I own the parody lyrics to this song in this one shot. You have permission to use them, as long as you give credit to LoquaciousQuibbler on . **

**Suggestions are welcome, and I appreciate favorites, follows, and reviews. **


	4. Billionaire

*Okay, for this one-shot, we're going to be Naoki believers. Naoki for the win! ;)

Billionaire

Tony Stark walked into one of the many living rooms in Stark Tower as he searched for the other Avengers, eager to irritate them. It was his specialty, irritating everyone else. He had perfected the art, and was always ready to use the skill.

As he walked into one of the living rooms, he saw that there were only two occupants: Loki and Naomi Carson. They both lay on the living room floor on their stomachs, turned away from the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist.

Tony watched the two for a moment from the doorway, a little confused. They were just… sitting there, kind of swaying from side to side in time.

Loki glanced at the young woman lying next to him and asked, "What did you say this one was called again?"

Naomi glanced at him. "Billionaire. See, if you tap here…" she held up her iPod, which Tony realized was plugged into headphones. Naomi had one bud in her ear, and Loki had the other in his. "You can see the song title, who it's by, and the album. Plus you can rewind or fast forward or change the song."

Loki nodded, and they resumed silence, swaying back and forth to the music that Tony couldn't hear. The man in the doorway grinned, looking at the pair on the floor, listening to music. They were so adorable.

Naomi started quietly humming the tune to the song. Loki threw her a questioning glance, and Naomi just shrugged. She continued humming, and Loki (hesitantly, it seemed) joined in the humming.

Tony resisted the urge to laugh. He waited until the song was over and the two on the floor stopped humming before speaking. "Bravo! Encore! Encore!" He started clapping slowly to accentuate the sarcasm of his words.

Loki and Naomi both jumped and jerked inn surprise to look at the man behind them. Their sudden movements dislodged the earbuds from their ears, and both grimaced as they rubbed their ears and glared.

"Smeghead," Naomi accused. "We're just listening to music. No one asked you to interrupt."

Tony grinned. "Sure someone asked me to interrupt. It's called my mind. It's been calling me all day, going…. 'Tony! You must irritate them! You must irritate anyone and everyone you can!'" he said in a high-pitched voice that was apparently his mind's.

"Your mind is evidently a worse living hell than mine, and that's saying something," Loki sneered, glaring at Tony as he discreetly scooted away from Naomi, still self-conscious about having been discovered sharing an affectionate moment with her.

"Hey, Carson, have you shown him 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight'? Ooh, how about 'Marry You' by Bruno Mars, if you've already got a Bruno Mars theme going? You were singing Billionaire, right? Ooh, or you guys can sing 'Just the Way You Are' together. Sooo cute," Stark drawled, grinning at the now-blushing Naomi.

Naomi was so grateful Loki didn't know any of those songs. She had been purposefully avoiding any romantic songs, just to avoid making things awkward between her and Loki. She prayed Loki wouldn't ask about them once Stark left. "Go smeg yourself, Stark," she spat.

"Hey, touchy. I thought it was kind of cute the way you two were all… you know, listening to music, swaying side to side, humming… quite the romantic picture. Even cuter how you were sharing earphones and everything," Tony winked at the two, who were now both blushing. "Carry on. Don't let me interrupt."

"You already did!" Loki called after the mortal man strolling away with a smirk.

Naomi and Loki glanced at each other resentfully. Naomi retrieved her iPod from where it had been discarded on the floor, and started wrapping up the headphones so that she could put the player away.

"Are we done with that, then?" Loki asked regretfully.

Naomi shrugged. "I dunno. I guess. Tony kind of ruined the moment."

Loki nodded in agreement. He smiled slightly, and Naomi froze as he started to sing quietly. _"I want to kill that billionaire, so freaking bad. Every time he talks he gets me mad…" _

Naomi stared at him, grinning disbelievingly. She nodded encouragingly.

_ "My dearest wish is to see him dead. Don't you want to help chop off his head?" _

_ Naomi began tapping her hand against the carpeted floor to provide a beat as she swayed back and forth, trying not to laugh. _

"_ Oh, every time I close my eyes,"_ Loki continued.

_ "Whatcha see? Whatcha see?"_ Naomi sang backup.

_ "I picture ways that he could die_," Loki sang.

_ "Yeah, yeah,"_ Naomi sang.

_ "Some boiling oil could make him fry, oh, I, I swear,"_ Loki sang.

_ "Stark better prepare!"_ Naomi sang.

_ "We're gonna kill that billionaire!"_ they sang together. _"Ooh, ooh, we'll kill that billionaire! Ooh, ooh…" _

Naomi broke off and just began giggling, and Loki just smiled mischievously.

Ah, they probably _would _have committed murder if they had known that all the other Avengers were just outside the living room the two were in, making recordings with their phones and grinning like idiots… though Stark looked rather perturbed by Loki and Naomi's song.

**Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: Heh heh… I enjoy yelling at Tony and threatening him, don't I? Oh, I love the guy. I just like making everything his fault, and making everyone love/hate him… difficult to do, but so fun. If you like this one, you should read the Misadventure of the Avengers, "Operation: Avenge Our Money." Another one-shot by me, found with my other stories. ;) The original song is **_**Billionaire **_**by Bruno Mars and Travie McCoy.**

**I own the parody lyrics contained in this one shot. Quite proudly, I came up with them all on my own. You are allowed to use these lyrics, but give me the credit for the lyrics… and if you use them, tell me; I'd be happy to hear about it! ;) **

**Suggestions are welcome, and favorites, follows, and reviews are appreciated. **


	5. Fireflies

Alien Guys

You would not believe your eyes

If ten million alien guys

Flew through New York as we saved the world

They fill the open air

And drop bombshells everywhere

And all the idiots just sit there and stare…

I'd like to make myself believe

That we can defeat Loki

It's hard to say if we can really beat the Chitauri

Cuz everything is blowing up, it seems...

I get a thousand wounds from ten thousand Chitauri goons

As they try to beat up Iron Man

A portal above my head

Another Chitauri's dead

The world's safety is just hanging by a thread

I'd like to make myself believe

That we can defeat Loki

It's hard to say if we can really beat the Chitauri

Cuz everything is blowing up, it seems…

Can hear the thunder above me crash

(Please take me away from here)

While I can also see Hulk smash

(Please take me away from here)

Did Banner really steal a bike?

(Please take me away from here

And why'd SHIELD order a nuclear strike?

To ten million alien guys,

I'm mean cuz I laugh when they die

I got a wicked grin as they fell down dead

But we've still got more to do

Still gotta get Loki, too

Now we've saved the world and managed to get back the Cube

I'd like to make myself believe

That we can defeat Loki

It's hard to say if we can really beat the Chitauri

Cuz everything is blowing up, it seems

I'd like to make myself believe

That we can defeat Loki

It's hard to say if we can really beat the Chitauri

Cuz everything is blowing up, it seems

I'd like to make myself believe

That we can defeat Loki

It's hard to say if we can really beat the Chitauri

Cuz every night, I see them in my dreams…

**Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: Ah, that was interesting. Fireflies by Owl City is the original song. I know this isn't a one shot, but I thought it was funny, and I couldn't let it go to waste, but I couldn't really put it in a one shot. So… I just give you the lyrics. **

**The parody lyrics contained within this chapter belong to me; I made them up all by myself. However, if for some bizarre reason you want to use this song parody, please give credit to LoquaciousQuibbler. **

**Favorites, follows, reviews, PM's, or suggestions are appreciated. **


	6. We Will Rock You

Heli-Karaoke

He Will Smash You

The seven Avengers were gathered in the cafeteria of the Helicarrier after another mission. They were all in a rather good mood, happy that they had managed to get their job done without any hiccups in the plan.

"Alright, time to really celebrate," Tony announced, passing around bottles of beer. He cracked his own open and grinned. Steve shrugged and opened his own. Thor did the same, as did Clint and Bruce Banner. Natasha muttered something about American beer being disgusting, and Naomi simply handed the bottle right back to Tony.

"Party poopers," Clint accused, giving the women a disapproving look.

"Whatever," Natasha shrugged. "Get drunk. Have fun. But I'm not gonna be here when you guys get into a brawl in the middle of the Helicarrier cafeteria." She beckoned to Naomi, and the women left, chatting about how stupid guys could be sometimes.

"Eh, forget them," Tony shrugged, pulling a few more beers out from under the table.

"Where'd you even get all this beer, and how on Earth did you get it past Fury onto the Helicarrier?" Banner asked in wonder.

Tony chuckled. "I got it from Fury's office, if you can believe it."

The others' eyes widened. "You know, that explains a lot actually…" Clint muttered before chugging half his beer.

Two hours later, the male Avengers were experiencing a pretty intense buzz. They had somehow managed to steal half the desserts from the Helicarrier's cafeteria and were now pigging out in between beers. They had reconvened in one of the agents' dormitories, and were currently sprawled out on the bottom beds of the bunk beds in the room, guffawing at their own genius and other, more random things that were totally random but seemed totally relevant to the slightly tipsy men… like whether or not chickens had nuggets.

Natasha and Naomi walked past the room the men were in and paused, peeking in. "Dear Lord…" Naomi muttered, shaking her head.

The men glanced around and spotted the girls.

"Hey! Come have a drink and some cake or cookies or brownies or candy or-" Steve beckoned to the women, but Natasha cut him off.

"How'd you even get all this stuff?" she asked incredulously, looking at what resembled the entire snack trolley from the Hogwarts Express. "This is like… half the desserts from the cafeteria."

"That is exactly what it is, my good lady," Thor nodded happily, attempting to stuff a cookie in his mouth. His coordination was now getting affected by the alcohol, and so he missed his mouth and got a nose full of cookie crumbs. Banner and Stark snorted with laughter at the sight.

"How'd you get all of this?" Naomi asked, carefully stepping over small mounds of candy wrappers on the floor.

"Magic," Clint winked.

"Where I come from, magic and science are one and the same," Thor said knowingly, nodding impressively.

"Yeah, magic," Tony agreed, grinning. "It had nothing to do with a few well-placed twenty dollar bills and bribery and threatening and maybe just a pinch of Barton's super-spy skills."

The two women exchanged eye rolls. "Men," they muttered in unison and began to walk out.

"Hey, don't you want some food? Or beer?" Steve called after them, holding up a doughnut.

"Nah, we're good," Natasha called back as the women disappeared.

Steve looked at the doughnut in his hands and shrugged. "Their loss." He bit into it, and a drop of the cream filling squirted out one end and hit Clint's eyebrow.

"Hey!" Clint exclaimed in protest.

The other men began laughing hysterically. Clint frowned and tossed a piece of fudge at Steve, who ducked. It instead hit Thor's neck, who blinked in surprise and promptly stopped laughing. He picked up the piece of fudge, ate it, and then proceeded to toss a brownie at Clint, who dodged, and it hit Stark squarely on the forehead. Stark let out a "Hey!" and hurled a piece of chocolate cake at the god, who rolled out of the way, and the cake hit Bruce Banner frosting-first, and the man's glasses were coated with brown.

Everyone abruptly stopped laughing and stared at the doctor, whose mouth had dropped open. Bruce slowly reached up and took off his glasses. He stared around at the other men, a slight glare on his face.

"Eh… sorry, buddy," Tony said quickly. "Didn't mean to… I was aiming for Point Break over there," he apologized, hoping Bruce wouldn't get _too _angry. Even in their tipsy state, they knew getting Banner mad wasn't a good idea.

Banner let out a huff. "Yeah, yeah." He began wiping his chocolate-coated glasses off on his shirt, grumbling.

The other men looked at each other, relieved, and broke into chuckles and giggles.

"Heh… sorry. We'll stop with the food fighting," Steve promised.

"Dude… I thought we were gonna die," Tony laughed.

"It's not too late for that," Bruce muttered, and the others burst into more laughter.

"Aw, man, please don't Hulk out on us," Clint pleaded, still grinning. "We don't wanna be smashed."

"Ooh!" Tony suddenly sat up straight, then winced as his head banged on the metal of the bunk bed. "Ow…"

The other men snickered.

Tony shot them quick glares before replacing it with a smile again. "Sooo… we don't want the Hulk to smash us, correct?"

Everyone looked quizzical.

"Doesn't music soothe the savage beast?"

Banner looked like music was really going to _unleash _the savage beast, but that didn't stop Stark from opening his mouth and starting to sing to the tune of 'We Will Rock You.'

"_Banner is a good man, smart man, says he's hoping he doesn't Hulk out today! Got a glare on his face! Better make haste! Before he starts smashing every inch of this place!" _

The other men began stomping and clapping to the beat of the song before all joining in.

"_He will, he will smash you!" _

Stomp, stomp, clap. Stomp, stomp, clap.

_"He will, he will, smash you!" _

Stomp, stomp, clap. Stomp, stomp, clap.

"You guys had better shut up!" Banner tried to shout over the other's singing, but they didn't seem to notice as they kept it up, singing and stomping and clapping.

Halfway across the Helicarrier, Naomi and Natasha walked down a corridor. Both paused as they heard the unmistakable sound of the Hulk's roar, followed by alarmed screams and raucous laughter. Then strained singing.

"_He will, he will, smash us! _Oh, God, dude, run! Augh! Stupid wall! Thought that was a doorway! Too much freaking beer and sugar! No, Bruce, calm down! Ha, ha! Don't smash us! _He will, he will, smash you!"_

The women exchanged looks, and they looked at their watches.

"Two hours and fourteen minutes," Naomi announced, looking smug. "Pay up."

Natasha grimaced and pulled ten bucks out of her pocket.

Naomi pocketed the money and they continued walking, not bothering to go help with the mess they knew the Hulk would cause.

"They'll sort it out," Natasha shrugged as Naomi threw an unsure look back over her shoulder toward the commotion.

**Note from LoquaciousQuibblerr: Okay, this one makes me grin. Another iconic song… ruined for us forever. And the almost-food fight.. good thing that ended before it got too out of control. Then stupid Tony. He started it. As always. :P **

**If for some reason you don't know the original song, then one, you should be ashamed of yourself, and two, it's **_**We Will Rock You **_**by Queen. I own the parody lyrics contained in this chapter, but you are welcome to use them if you give credit. **

**Suggestions, as always, and favorites and follows and reviews. **


	7. Ain't It Fun?

Heli-Karaoke

Ain't it Fun?

After Loki had failed to take over Earth, he was handcuffed and stuffed into a jet with the Avengers to head back to the Helicarrier. He was not particularly enjoying himself. He had failed in his plan. And the Avengers were quite enjoying rubbing it in his face.

"So… tell us, Loki. Is taking over the world as fun as you thought it would be?" Clint Barton said scathingly, raising his eyebrows.

Thor smiled a little as Loki glared mutinously and didn't respond. "Come, brother, surely you won't be too angry at us? We have succeeded, and must celebrate our victory… against you. But cheer up, Loki. There is much to celebrate."

"Like you said, Thor, there's much for _you _to celebrate," Loki spat. "Not for me."

"Aww, is Rudolph sad he can't join in the other reindeer's games?" Tony teased.

"Like Monopoly," Naomi chimed in quietly, and the others snickered.

Loki and Thor didn't understand the reference and just blinked.

"Forget it," Tony said, flapping his hand in dismissal.

"We had some good times this adventure, though, my brother," Thor sighed happily.

"No, we didn't," Loki growled.

"We had tons of good times," Rogers put in, for once allowing himself to tease someone a little bit.

"Yeah, tons of fun," Natasha agreed.

Clint suddenly grinned. He cleared his throat. _"Ain't it fuuuun?"_ he sang.

Everyone stared at him blankly.

_ "Taking over the world,"_ Clint continued. "_Ain't it good?"_

_ "Being overthrown,"_ Naomi jumped in, singing as well.

_ "Ain't it good to be overthrown? Ain't it fun you can't rule over no one? Ain't it good to be overthrown? Ain't it fun you can't rule over no one? Ain't it fun?"_ Clint sang, swaying back and forth.

Loki stared at him. This was… bizarre. Perhaps Romanoff had hit the man over the head harder than she had meant to. Maybe his mind control had damaged him far worse than he had thought. Or maybe this man was just insane. How dare he make fun of him? Especially singing. How dare he sing at the god of mischief?

And now everyone else was starting to join in, adding lyrics poking fun at Loki's inability to take over the world properly.

_ "So what are you gonna do when the Avengers manage to stop you?"_ they sang in unison. _"What are you gonna do when the Hulk is finished smashing you?" _

_ "Ain't it fun? Taking over the world! Ain't it good? Being overthrown! Ain't it good to be overthrown? Ain't it fun you can't rule over no one? Ain't it good to be overthrown? Ain't it fun you can't rule over no one? Ain't it fun? Taking over the world!"_ They sang.

Loki closed his eyes and tried to ignore the singing heroes. Of all the nine realms, couldn't they just kill him now? Was torture to be his fate for the rest of eternity? Because torture it was, listening to the Avengers singing. They really needed some singing lessons.

**Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: Heh, this one is kinda lame… and short. But fun. Original Song is **_**Ain't it Fun? **_**By Paramore. **

**I own the parody lyrics contained in this one shot. You have permission to use them, so long as you give credit to LoquaciousQuibbler. **

**Suggestions are welcome, and I appreciate favorites, follows, and reviews. **


	8. Kids in America

*We are once again Naoki believers, though it's kind of just a side thing. Just know that Naomi and Loki are together. ;)

Heli-karaoke

Captain America

Steve Rogers wasn't entirely sure what was going on. All he knew was that one minute he was in his room in Stark Tower, polishing his Captain America shield, minding his own business. And the next thing he knew, he was being hauled away by Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton. He wasn't even sure how they had gotten into his room; the door had been locked… but it really shouldn't surprise him, they were master assassins, after all…

But that didn't stop him from worrying at the devilish grins on their faces as they dragged him towards the barely-ever-used-except-by-Steve gym. "You guys, it's not that I don't trust you or anything, but where the heck are you taking me?" he asked nervously.

"You'll see," Clint assured him with a chuckle.

Steve frowned. "Have you guys been drinking?" he asked suspiciously.

"Please, Rogers, we've only had a couple. You don't think a Russian super-spy can handle a little liquor?" Romanoff scoffed, then nearly tripped over her own feet as she continued leading Rogers. "Shoot… I don't know what Stark put in those drinks…"

"Maybe you two should sit down," Steve said nervously, not liking this at all. They just shook their heads in unison and led him into the gym. He stopped dead. "What have you _done _to it?" he asked in horror.

The gym had been transformed. There was a dance floor in the center, with strobe lights and a disco ball. A full bar had been set up on one side, and the chairs there were occupied by the other Avengers. The rest of the gym was empty, though loud music blared, and a spotlight was on an empty stage with a microphone. A dozen boxes of pizza sat on a table, and Thor appeared to have one all to himself at the bar. Kegs of beer, and other such beverages, were spread around the room. Steve couldn't help but go tense. This did _not _look good for an old-fashioned man like himself.

"What's going on?" he asked cautiously, raising his voice over the loud club music.

Natasha and Clint just giggled and dragged him over to the bar.

Tony sat behind the bar, obviously playing bartender (though sucking on a margarita), and Thor, Bruce Banner, Naomi Carson, and Loki sat on the barstools. It appeared the only ones entirely sober (aside from Steve himself) were Naomi and Loki.

"Hey, here he is!" Tony exclaimed as Steve approached. The two assassins finally let him go and collapsed onto their own barstools.

"What's all this about?" Steve asked.

"SHIELD karaoke night!" Tony said excitedly.

"Yet he somehow failed to convince anyone except us to come," Naomi chimed in, gesturing to the empty gym around them.

"I even handed out flyers!" Thor said poutily. "But no one seemed willing to join us in our carry-out night."

"Karaoke," Banner corrected, sipping a martini.

"Yet no one is singing karaoke," Natasha observed. "Karaoke night ended up being a drinking party night. We're kind of taking turns drinking to see who gets drunk enough to actually get up on stage with a microphone."

Steve glanced between Naomi and Loki, the only two who appeared unintoxicated. "And you're not?"

Naomi scoffed. "I don't drink. And Loki is refusing to drink because I made a joke about karaoke night being drinking night, and we would get him so hammered he'd have to get carried out… and then I joked that it would be carry-Loki night instead of karaoke night…"

The tipsy Avengers giggled at the pun while Loki glared.

"But the point is, you shouldn't use the word 'hammered' around the brother of Thor… he doesn't believe me when I say getting hammered just means getting really drunk. So he is now refusing to partake in any alcoholic beverages for fear of getting hit by Mjolnir," Naomi continued, nudging Loki's knee with her own.

Steve rolled his eyes. "So why am I here? You know I'm not going to get hammered."

"Of course you're not going to get hammered; Thor is on your side," Loki said mutinously. "He would never hammer you."

The other Avengers giggled.

"I'm not going to get _drunk_," Steve clarified. "So why am I here?"

"We thought you might do a little karaoke for us," Bruce grinned slyly.

Steve's eyes widened. "Um… no, I don't think I will."

"Come on, Cap, we're not going to remember you singing by tomorrow morning, anyway!" Clint said encouragingly as he took a swig of some oddly colored liquid.

Tony snickered. "No, I made sure that nobody's gonna remember tonight by tomorrow morning." He poured himself another glass of something that looked like it could be radioactive.

Steve just frowned. "I really don't want to…"

But he was quickly seized by Naomi and Loki and was soon being dragged to the empty stage.

"Hey! What are you guys-?!" Steve exclaimed, panicking at the mischievous grins on the couple's faces.

"Up you go, Rogers," Loki patted the Captain on the back as they reached the steps up onto the stage.

"We'll pick a song you know, Stevie," Naomi said with a quick giggle.

"But I don't want to—" Steve was already being shoved up onto the makeshift stage and heading to the microphone,, shepherded by the god of mischief and the Huntress.

"What is with you guys?" he asked mutinously.

"Thinking about what Stark said," Loki explained. "We're not drinking. While everyone else may not remember tomorrow, this will be something _Naomi and I _will _never _forget. So start wailing, _Captain._"

Steve found himself alone on the stage, in front of the Avengers, quickly joined by Loki and Naomi, who looked like they were going to burst into laughter at any moment.

"What am I supposed to do?" he asked into the microphone resignedly.

"Ooh, music!" Tony exclaimed. "Hmm…" He was scrolling through a holographic screen. "What songs do you know? Katy Perry? Journey? I'm not playing AC/DC, you'll butcher it… How about you sing God Bless the USA? That should work out well…"

"I don't know it," Steve protested.

"Oh, I got this!" Naomi said excitedly, clapping her hands. She grabbed the holographic screen out of Tony's hands. "I showed you Kids in America by Kim Wilde a few days ago, remember, Rogers?"

Steve considered. He vaguely remembered Naomi saying something to him about the song while they were on the Helicarrier going to a mission. She had played it on her iPod, he remembered… "Yeah, you showed me," he said slowly.

"Great. You can sing that one," Thor said happily, shoving another slice of pizza into his mouth.

"Wait, I don't remember all the lyrics!" Rogers protested. "I only listened to it once!"

"Wing it, Cap!" Banner shouted up to him as the introductory music started playing.

Steve felt frozen up on stage with the Avengers looking up at him expectantly. He had to sing this song… but he didn't know it. He had to do something. Bruce's words repeated in his head. Wing it. Meaning do his best with what he had. He could remember the tune and beat of the song, and he had the background music playing… he could make up his own lyrics, he guessed.

The others were staring up at him expectantly as the part where vocals were supposed to start drew closer.

Steve reminded himself that they wouldn't be remembering this in the morning anyway. "_Looking out my apartment window,_" he sang, remembering the first line had something to do with that… "_Outside, I see the Iron Man suit go flying by. I just roll my eyes cuz I hate that guy…_"

Everyone was giggling, but in a good way that made him smile as well. Everyone appeared to be enjoying it. Naomi and Loki were, of course, laughing the hardest, knowing they would have this in their memories forever, unlike the other Avengers. But Steve found he really didn't mind so much. They could laugh. He was Captain America. And he grinned at the thought as he continued singing.

_" Sunday morning, everyone's snoozing. But I'm already up and I'm running laps; Slept seventy years; I don't need no naps,_" he sang, starting to really get into it now. He was quick enough that he could improvise the song lyrics without too much trouble. "_Why does the world always need saving? Why is it me that they're always craving?" _

The others were now dancing along to the music and tweaked lyrics, looking probably as ridiculous as Steve himself did on the stage. Which made Steve smile even more broadly. He remembered the chorus for the song, but what the hey? He was already singing his own version of the other verses. Might as well make his own version of the chorus, too. He kept singing, now belting it out with his heart and soul.

"_Cuz I'm Captain America! Whoa-oa! Cuz I'm Captain America! Whoa-oa! Always using my shield to take bad guys down!_"

Everyone was dancing like maniacs, waving their arms around and jumping excitedly. Well… Loki wasn't, but he was a little busy dodging Thor's hammer, which he was swinging around as he danced. And… oh, shoot. Naomi was holding up her phone, evidently videotaping him. Dang it.

Steve faltered for a moment, open-mouthed, staring at Naomi, grinning wickedly.

"Sing, Captain! Sing!" Clint shouted out, frowning and glancing away from where he and Natasha were dancing together.

Steve hesitated a moment, then continued, knowing that this was harmless fun. It was fine. Naomi and Loki could laugh. It didn't matter. "_Cuz I'm Captain America! Whoa-oa! Cuz I'm Captain America! Whoa-oa! Always using my shield to take bad guys down!_" he sang out happily as the chorus came around again.

The video would get a million likes on Facebook, anyway…

**Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: Wah hah hah… Original song is **_**Kids in America **_**by Kim Wilde. It's so easy to think of scenarios where Naomi, Clint, or Tony sing… the others are harder. This was like the only way I could think of to make Steve sing outside of a group. So, yeah. A failed SHIELD karaoke night, and they kidnap Steve. And the "hammer" pun is funny. And we all know it. Though we'll never admit it. **

**I own the parody lyrics contained in this one shot. Permission is granted for you to use them, but allow credit for the lyrics to go to LoquaciousQuibbler. **

**Suggestions are welcome, and all the other stuff is appreciated, as always. **


	9. Dropps of Jupiter

Drops of Jotunheim

Now that he's back in the atmosphere

With drops of Jotunheim in his hair, hey-ey-ey

He makes snide comments and acts like a pain

Reminds us just how much he's changed, hey-ey-ey-ey

Since his return from his stay on Midgard

His soul is cold and his heart is hard, hey-ey-ey, hey-ey-ey

But tell me, did you finally get your throne?

Did you conquer the humans and have them kneeling

Was such kingship so appealing?

Tell me, did the humans put you back in your place?

Remind you they're not a weak race?

And did you finally get over how your childhood was unfair?

Now that he's back from his Earth's invasion

Taking a stab at world domination, hey-ey-ey

He rolls his eyes while he reads his books

Down in the dungeons with other crooks, hey-ey-ey

Now that he's back in the atmosphere

I'm afraid that he might never forgive

the way he lived; Told a story bout a boy

who was second to his brother, and whose life was a decoy

But tell me, were the people kneeling at your feet?

Did you finally get to own your throne above all the others?

Before being defeated by your brother?

And tell me, was it your rage that made you blind?

Was it everything you wanted to find?

And did you realize that your life was not unfair?

Such disappointment in the god of lies and tricking,

But your brother's always sticking up for you, even when he knows you're wrong.

Can you remember back before you turned traitor? Before the attempt at dictator?, back before the coronation?

Back before you tried to prove you're worthy

But tell me, were the people kneeling at your feet?

Did you finally get to own your throne above all the others

Before being defeated by your brother?

And tell me, did you finally get your throne?

Did you conquer the humans and see them kneeling

Is such kingship so appealing?

And tell me, did the humans put you back in your place

Remind you that they're not a weak race?

And did you realize your childhood was not unfair?

And did you finally get to own your throne above all the others?

And did the humans put you back in your place? Put you back in your place?

And have you realized that your childhood was not unfair?

**Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: Well, another one that's just the song and not a one shot. I couldn't tell you exactly who this song's point of view is from,, but I think the lyrics are pretty self-explanatory in their meaning. After starting to run out of ideas for parodies, I jjust started scrolling through my iPod and looking at titles to see if I could think of anything that fit… So **_**Drops of Jupiter **_**by Train= Drops of Jotunheim. Don't ask how that happened. Odd things occur to a person while riding the school bus to school on Friday mornings. **

**The lyrics contained in this chapter belong to me… it took quite some time to make them up ;) Drops of Jotunheim is mine. You have permission to use these lyrics only if you give credit to LoquaciousQuibbler for said lyrics.**

**Happy for favorites, follows, reviews, PM's, or suggestions. **


	10. Roar

*For this chapter, we shall all be Naoki, Pepperony, and BlackHawk shippers… Naomi Carson/Loki Laufeyson, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, and Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow)/Clint Barton (Hawk Eye). Just helps this chapter to be funny if you're shipping those. ;)

HeliKaraoke

Thor

All the ladies of SHIELD were having a girls' night, for some reason that half of them couldn't even fathom…

"Remind me again why we're here," a middle-aged agent whispered to Agent Hill.

Hill sighed. "Because Naomi Carson and Pepper Potts convinced Fury that female agents of SHIELD need to relax for once. I think Tony Stark is supposed to be leading the guys' night, but I'm not sure if that's actually going on, or if…"

"Alright, ladies!" Pepper Potts called from the front of the slightly crowded living room in Stark Tower. "So… nice to see that you all showed up."

"Fury told us this was a mission!" a woman called accusatorily from the back of the room.

"Nah, that was Tony. I convinced him to hack into Fury's email and send you guys summons," Naomi said brightly from her place near Pepper.

Most of the women grumbled. "Messed up…" and "Illegal…" were heard from around the room.

"Okay, quit complaining," Pepper scolded. "We're just going to have a little girls' night so that the female agents can let their hair down and let off a little steam with other women."

Agent Hill self-consciously reached back and touched her tight bun. She didn't particularly want to let her hair down.

"So… our first activity tonight is…" Pepper and Naomi leaned in and started whispering.

"Okay, we're not gonna do any specific game for this… but let's all giggle and gossip," Pepper called. "Gather around."

The ladies exchanged scowls and gathered in a circle around the coffee table. There was about twenty women altogether, so it was pretty crowded. Ladies sat on the floor, the couch cushions, the back of the couch, and couch arms.

"So," Natasha Romanoff said slowly. "What do you expect a bunch of highly skilled hackers, assassins, and soldiers to talk about? American Idol, hairspray, Desperate Housewives, or who we have a crush on?"

Naomi grinned. "Excellent idea, my dear Natasha…"

Natasha froze. "Wait, what?"

"Let's all go around and tell each other who we have a crush on," Naomi grinned.

"No, I was being _sarcastic," _Natasha started to protest, but the two orange-haired women were smiling broadly, and the other agents knew there wasn't any way they were getting out of this.

"Okay," Pepper smiled. "We'll go around and admit who we like. This will just stay between us girls. I'll go first."

"You like Tony Stark," someone piped up. "Everyone knows that, Pepper. Easy for you to admit who you have a crush on; it's not secret for you."

Pepper raised her eyebrows. "Yes, I love Tony with all my heart… but I also kind of have a crush on Thor," she said conspiratorially.

There were quiet "oooh's" and gasps around the room.

"We're keeping this just between us girls," Pepper reminded them, winking and putting a finger to her lips. "Next," she said with a smile.

Naomi cleared her throat. "Ahem."

"Loki," everyone said in unison. "Again, no big secret," someone said, slight disapproval in her voice at Naomi and Loki's relationship.

Naomi rolled her eyes. "Yeah, okay, it's no big secret that Loki and I have a thing. But not everyone knows that Steve Rogers and I once kissed. I don't have a crush on him, but I will admit that he's pretty hot."

Everyone let out little murmurs of agreement.

"Next!" Naomi said, blushing slightly. "And don't anyone dare tell Loki or Steve I said that. Loki's already ticked about the kiss, and I really don't need him thinking Steve and I have something going on."

"Lips are sealed," a few agents giggled.

"Okay," Natasha sighed, since she was next in the circle. "I have a crush on—"

"Clint," everyone stated bluntly.

Natasha's eyes widened. "W-what?"

"Dude, everyone knows that. I think the only ones who _don't _know you guys have a crush on each other are… you guys," Naomi said, gently patting Natasha's head. "Next."

The next few ladies all admitted to being attracted to Thor. There were a few mixed crushes on Captain America as well, or the occasional shameful admission to liking Tony Stark, but most said Thor.

"Thor."

"Thor."

"Steve Rogers _and _Thor."

"Thor and Stark."

"Thor."

"God, everyone's in love with Thor, huh?" Pepper grinned.

Naomi smirked. "He's pretty smoking, in case you hadn't noticed… oh, wait, you have a secret crush on him, too."

"_Everyone _has a secret crush on Thor," Pepper scoffed.

"And _why _is that, exactly?" Natasha asked.

"Have you _looked _at the guy?" a woman gushed, giggling.

At the guys' night, all the male Avengers, SHIELD agents, and Loki were gathered.

"I fail to see the point in this," Loki put in sulkily, sprawled on a couch while everyone else gave him a little bit of a wide berth.

"Okay, Reindeer Games, you're kind of supposed to be my wingman," Tony scolded.

"Why?" Loki wrinkled his nose.

"Because my girlfriend and your girlfriend are heading the girls night, so it's only right that you and I head the guys night," Tony smiled.

"And what are we even supposed to do?" Loki asked.

Steve was looking kind of uncomfortable. "I haven't been to a guy bonding night in… a while… what do we usually do nowadays?"

"Yes, I'm curious to see what you have planned," Fury put in. "I granted permission to have a girls and guys night for SHIELD, but I have no idea what to expect. So… Stark, what's going on?"

Tony smirked. "Wanna know what guy's nights do nowadays, Steve?"

Everyone looked interestedly at the billionaire.

Tony smirked. "Spy on girls night, of course." He laughed and led the way to a computer, followed curiously by several of the other men, including Loki and Clint. All three were curious to see what their girlfriends (admitted girlfriends or not) were up to.

Naomi whispered something in Pepper's ear, and she laughed. "Yeah, okay," Pepper giggled.

"I have something I'd like to say on the subject of Thor," Naomi announced. "Jump in if you have something to say… or _sing,_" she added cheekily.

Everyone looked confused. Naomi stood and cleared her throat, grinning. She burst into song: _"He makes us bite our lip and hold our breath," _she sang to the tune of 'Roar' by Katy Perry.

_ "Have you seen the muscles on his chest?" _Pepper chimed in.

_ "We fidget quietly; and he talks politely," _the two orange-haired women sang together.

_ "And OMG have you heard his voice?"_ someone sang out.

_ "So much hotter than Earthling boys,"_ another girl sang. Everyone giggled, and Naomi let out a 'hear, hear.'

_ "OH, we can hardly breathe; that Thor is such a tease_," a group of three sang together, who had apparently been planning to jump in. Everyone giggled and continued to sing.

Meanwhile, at the guys' night, Clint Barton, Tony Stark, and Loki were all twitching spasmodically as they watched the security cameras in the room the girls' night was being held. Thor was staring open-mouthed, and his face was as red as his cape. Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Nick Fury, Agent Coulson, and all the other men were laughing their heads off.

Clint, Tony, and Loki watched in horror as the women their hearts belonged to sang about how amazing Thor was.

Loki glared at Stark. "You said spying on them would be fun."

Tony winced. "Yeah… I did say that… I wasn't expecting them to be singing about—"

"_All girls have a crush on Thor!" _the women's voices carried out of the security camera microphones. "Thor, Thor, Thor, Thor, Thor, Tho-or! Thor, Thor, Thor, Thor, Tho-or! All girls have a crush on Thor!"

Tony tapped something on the screen, and the window closed. Clint, Tony, and Loki exchanged looks, still twitching slightly in horror. They all looked towards Thor, who backed away slowly.

"Well… work is going to be interesting tomorrow," Fury commented.

Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: What does guys night do? Spy on girls night, of course. Typical Tony, huh? Poor Loki, Clint, and Tony though. Not to mention Thor. Yeah, it's gonna be kinda awkward tomorrow morning… when the guys and girls see each other again. The girls are gonna have some explaining to do, definitely… At least the guys didn't see the girls talking about the people they actually have a crush on. The original song is "Roar" by Katy Perry.

I own the parody lyrics contained in this chapter…

Please favorite, follow, and review. Suggestions are welcome. ;)


	11. Going Under

Heli-Karaoke

God of Thunder

Thor walked merrily through Stark Tower, searching for Tony Stark. It did not take long to find him, standing outside a room with Loki and Clint.

All three of the men were sniggering uncontrollably, looking down at a holographic screen in Tony's hands.

Thor drew closer, curious. "Friends, brother, what are you doing? What amuses you so?"

Tony immediately closed the window on the little screen, smirking. "Nothin', Point Break. Don't worry about it… you wouldn't approve, anyway."

"Indeed, you would not," Loki nodded in agreement, still snickering at whatever it was they had been looking at.

"Why would I not approve?" Thor asked with a frown. "Surely it was not something really terrible?"

Tony, Clint, and Loki all exchanged looks, obviously considering whether or not to tell the god of thunder what they had been doing.

"Okay, I'll tell you," Tony said quietly, conspiratorially beckoning him forward with a finger. Thor stepped forward eagerly, dying to know what the others had been so amused by. Tony grinned wickedly and opened up the window on the screen again. "Okay… so…" He hit the play button in the bottom corner, and a video started to play.

The shot was shaky, as if the person recording it was laughing hard while trying to keep the camera steady. Thor listened carefully to the audio, and focused on the screen. It showed the shot peeking out from behind a wall, and the view became slightly clearer. It showed inside a bedroom, where two figures sat on a bed, wearing tank tops and shorts. The two figures were the two female Avengers: Naomi Carson and Natasha Romanoff. They were cross-legged, smiling softly as they sang along to a slow, quiet, sad song.

Thor's eyes widened. "You were recording them singing?" he asked incredulously.

Clint hushed him quickly, slapping his shoulder. "SShhh it gets even better. Just wait."

The voices were muffled as they stopped singing.

Naomi's voice was audible. "God, I love that song… My Immortal. Pure epic awesome sadness."

Natasha agreed quietly with a 'Yeah.'

There was a moment of silence as the last notes of the song faded out, slightly staticky over the recording device's speakers. Then both women suddenly squealed in delight as the next song started up.

"_Now I will tell you—" _

It became slightly difficult to understand the words, but Thor could hear both women singing, and he couldn't help but smile slightly as he could see them on the video, jumping up and bouncing on the bed and grabbing hairbrushes to sing into along to the song.

Thor smiled a little as he watched, and then the chorus of the song came around. It was still hard to understand the words through the little speakers, but Thor frowned. It almost sounded like they were saying…

"What is this song they are singing? What does it say?"

"What does it sound like?" Tony asked, looking at the god with a raised eyebrow. "We haven't shown you the song?"

Thor shook his head. "Though it almost sounds like they are saying something about the god of thunder…"

The three others exchanged bewildered looks.

"Oh… I get it," Clint grinned. "God of thunder… I can see how you could think that, what with the muffled sounds from the video…"

Tony laughed a little. "Yeah, I can see how that makes sense… Oh, my god, that would make such an awesome parody!"

Thor frowned. "What does this song actually say?"

Tony started to explain, but Loki quickly clapped his hand over the billionaire's mouth. "No, don't tell him. It ruins the fun," he scolded the genius, who glared and slapped Loki's hand away.

"I was just going to tell him what the song said…" Tony looked distastefully at the god of mischief.

"Meh," Clint shrugged. "Better idea. Just make up our own words to the song to go with the background music, and then make Thor sing it."

Thor blinked as he was soon being ushered to Stark's lab by his two friends and his brother. "But… I just… I just wanted to know what the song was saying…"

Soon, four men were sitting in the lab, Thor sitting at the head of the table with a slightly blank look on his face. Tony and Clint were handling a large speaker, and Loki held a pen and paper, looking expectantly between Thor and the other two.

"Okeydokey," Tony said with a smile. "So… God of Thunder. We shall be making a version of this song with God of Thunder as the new title, and that'll be the theme. Clint and I will make up the lyrics, and Loki will act as scribe, and Thor, you shall sing our song to Naomi and Natasha, and we'll see what they think of it."

Thor frowned. "But… I just wanted to hear…"

"Shh," Loki hushed him quickly. "Trust me, Thor, this will be great."

Thor hesitated. "If you say so…"

Clint and Tony started to play a karaoke version of a song, consulting a screen that displayed the original lyrics of the song.

"Mm. Got it," Tony said with a smirk, pausing the karaoke version of the song. "Loki, first line: Now, I will tell of the blood that I've spilled."

Later that night, everyone was in the living room relaxing.

Naomi and Natasha sat on one couch, facing Bruce and Steve.

"Where's everyone else?" Steve asked. "I haven't seen Tony or Thor or Loki or Clint all day."

Everyone else just shrugged.

"Last time I saw Loki, I was kicking him out of my room so that Natasha and I could have girl time," Naomi said thoughtfully.

"What was Loki doing in your room?" Steve asked, his eyes widening slightly.

"Oh, please," Natasha rolled her eyes. "Rogers, this isn't 1930. Couples are allowed to be in the same bedroom without a chaperone."

Steve just looked disapproving.

They all looked up as they heard excited whispering and chuckling from the doorway. Tony walked in first, standing tall and proud and looking smug. Loki and Clint followed, looking slightly disgruntled, as they were carrying a speaker system and a microphone. Last to enter was Thor, looking like he might be in slight shock. He was wearing a black leather jacket, dark jeans, and a black t-shirt.

"What the smeg?" Naomi asked in confusion, looking over the group as Loki, Clint, and Tony set up the speaker and microphone, while Thor hung back, looking a little lost.

"Thor has a song he wishes to sing," Loki grinned wickedly.

"He does?" Bruce asked, obviously unconvinced by the god of lies' explanation.

"Well, he has a song we want him to sing to you," Tony revised.

"There's a difference," Steve input here, obviously not liking the idea of Thor being forced into something he didn't want to do.

"No, there's not really a difference," Clint said nonchalantly. "He's doing it either way."

"While wearing something that looks straight out of a rock band?" Natasha asked skeptically, looking at Thor's strange clothes (well, the clothes were fine; they were just strange on Thor).

"Correct," Loki smirked.

Tony cleared his throat and held up the newly set up microphone. He tapped the head of it. "Testing, testing… You can all hear me?"

"Dude… we can hear you fine _without _the microphone. It's not that big a room," Naomi looked at the billionaire blankly. "Honestly, he calls himself a genius…"

"Alright, Hello Kitty, no need to be rude. Now then, we've been working on our little song all day, and we would like Thor to sing it to you," Stark said proudly. "We hope you will enjoy our song_._"

Tony handed the microphone to Thor, and then began clapping. Loki and Clint followed suit, giving everyone else the hint to do the same. They did so, still slightly confused, but rolling with it.

Thor cleared his throat and smiled weakly, looking at his friends nervously.

"Okay…. Now…" Tony and Clint fumbled with the stereo while Loki looked on haughtily with his arms crossed.

Naomi leaned closer over the arm of the couch and peered at the stereo. The small screen on the stereo was flashing the name of each song as they skipped them. _Bring Me to Life_, _Haunted_, _My Immortal_, _Taking Over Me_… Naomi scooted over to Natasha. "I think he's going to sing an Evanescence song. The CD is an Evanescence Karaoke."

Natasha looked incredulous, and she and Naomi both scooted to look at the stereo again. It appeared Iron Man and Hawk Eye had settled on the song _Going Under (Karaoke). _They exchanged bemused looks. "Why would Thor be singing Going Under?" Natasha asked quietly.

"Beats me."

"And now," Tony said. "We present to you… _God of Thunder._" He hit the play button on the stereo, and Thor started singing.

"_Now I will tell of the blood that I've spilled._"

The two women exchanged bewildered looks on the couch. This sure as heck wasn't the song they always sang along to.

"_50,000 warriors I've killed,_" Thor continued, appearing to grow in his self-confidence. "_Fighting, and trying, uniting the realms… Next in line to be the king… The god of thunder!_" his voice boomed out as he continued.

The two redheads watched in horror as Thor continued to butcher the song they loved so much, singing of fighting monsters, and being next in line for Asgard's throne, and singing in a voice so opposite of Amy Lee's of Evanescence.

_ "My little brother is the god of lies…. So I don't know what's real and what's not. Creating illusions to mess with my head…. Ooh… I can't trust him anymore!" _Thor sang tragically, sending Clint, Tony, and Loki into a fit of laughter.

The three culprits behind this little performance had been rolling on the floor laughing ever since the first line of the song. But Thor didn't appear to have even noticed.

"_I'lllll… make suuuure we win! I'm the god of thunder!" _

Naomi and Natasha couldn't help themselves anymore, and sang backup, echoing Thor's words of the chorus. "_God of thunder…." _

_ "I'm saving the planet!_" Thor's voice proclaimed.

_ "Saving the planet," _the girls echoed eerily.

"_I'm swinging my hammer!_"

"_Swinging his hammer…._"

"_With muscles like granite!_"

"_Muscles like granite…_"

"_I'm the god of thundeeerrrr!_" Thor brought it in with a big finish, totally drowning out the guitars and drums in the background.

There was a moment of dead silence in the room, except for Thor's heavy breathing from the exertions of wailing such a song.

And then the seven in the audience burst into applause and cheering (interspersed with laughter, of course, but still).

Natasha and Naomi would never think of _Going Under _the same way again… and would probably accidentally sing some of the lyrics of _God of Thunder _instead. Ah, well, at least they would never find out that Tony had recorded a video of them singing along to it. At least, they wouldn't find out until it was on YouTube. But then, Thor's singing would be on YouTube as well.

**Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: Tee hee. That was fun, huh? Original song, as you probably gathered, is **_**Going Under **_**by Evanescence. Great song… but unfortunately, it rhymes with thunder and has a great amount of syllables in the title to make it into God of Thunder. Ah, well. I have now succeeded in destroying my Top 25 Most Played playlist. I can't listen to Going Under, Fireflies, Ain't It Fun?, Don't Stop Believing, Drops of Jupiter… and probably more will be added soon. **

**I own the parody lyrics contained in this chapter. If you wish to use them, give credit to LoquaciousQuibbler. **

**Please favorite, follow, review, PM, and give suggestions. **


	12. I Want It That Way

Heli-Karaoke

We Help Save the Day

Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, and the infamous Tony Stark sat bored in the lab of the latter. None of them had been given assignments from Fury that morning, and were exceedingly… without motivation, spirit, or interest. In short, bored to tears.

"So… Steve, what do you wanna do?" Tony asked. He was sprawled across the table, with his forehead pressed to the cool glass top of the surface and his arms splayed out.

"Mmh… I dunno… what do you wanna do, Bruce?" Steve asked tiredly. He had his chin propped on his fist, and he was staring blankly at the clear table.

"Eh… I don't know… Tony, what do you wanna do?" Bruce yawned. He was reclined back in his chair lazily.

"Hmm… I'm not sure… Steve, what do you-?"

"I'm going to smack you, Stark," Rogers said bitterly.

"No, you won't," Tony said flatly.

"What makes you say that?"

"Mm… two things. One, you're too nice. Two, you wouldn't be able to find the motivation. We're all too… bored," Tony said simply.

"Yeah," Steve and Bruce said in unison.

Silence.

"Do you guys ever get asked what you do for a living?" Bruce suddenly asked.

Steve and Tony looked up at the doctor, surprised that he had actually come up with something intelligent to discuss besides boredom and circularly asking each other what the others wanted to do.

Banner rubbed his eyes. "Do you ever get asked what you do for a living?" he repeated.

Tony shook his head. "No… everyone knows who I am. They don't need to ask."

Steve shrugged. "No, not really… Most people are too busy just staring at me to ask."

Tony raised his eyebrows. "Staring at you…?"

Steve blushed slightly. "Yeah… you know, most of the time when I go out in public, I'm either wearing the Captain America suit, or a jogging outfit."

Tony smirked. "Ah, yes… the famous Captain Ab-merica thing…"

The science bros snickered together while Rogers turned bright red.

"Anyways… back to my original point…" Bruce smiled softly. "If someone were to ask you what you do for a living, what would you say?"

The other two considered. "Do you ever get asked, Bruce?"

"Yeah… I just say I'm a scientist… but that's not entirely true, is it?"

"What else are you supposed to say?" Steve asked.

"You can't exactly say you turn into a giant green rage monster and smash stuff for a living, can you?" Tony grinned.

"But… I'm not just a scientist, either."

"Maybe you should just say, well, I save the day," Steve suggested. "That's an honorable thing to say you do for a living, right? And it's kind of true, at least."

"Eh, kind of… more like… you _help _save the day," Stark said thoughtfully. "You're not the only one. We all kind of do that together… Yeah, we help save the day."

Bruce smirked suddenly and hummed a few bars of a song.

Tony and Steve glanced up in confusion.

"Yeah-eah-eah," Bruce crooned. He hummed a few more bars of the song's introduction, and suddenly both the other two recognized the song. Bruce started off the song lyrics, of course changing them to their own situation. _"We are… science bros…"_

_ "But also… we're heroes," _Tony continued.

Together, the science bros sang out, _"Believe us when we say…. That we help save the day!" _

Steve smiled faintly and joined in. "_I'm just… a tad out… of touch, but it's not in the way… Of me saving the day!" _

Suddenly, the three were singing together, harmonizing in a terrible impersonation of the Backstreet Boys.

"_Tell me why! Why are there always bad guys? Tell me why! Why's our world always antagonized? Tell me why!" _

Tony jumped in by himself now, singing alone as the others gawked at him. "_Why's Rogers insist he's not gay? Still, he helps save the day!" _

Steve started to blush and say something about how his wearing a tight spandex outfit of bright colors with stars on it did _not _make him homosexual, but Bruce and Steve were already going on to the next verse.

_"No world… domination; Alien… invasions! We're free… and isn't that great? Cuz we help save the day!" _

Steve stuck his tongue out at Stark, but he still joined in to harmonize in the chorus.

"_Tell me why! There's always bad guys! Tell me why! Our world's always antagonized! Tell me why!" _

Steve took this opportunity to jump in and insert a line by himself. "_I wish Stark would just go away! But he helps save the day…" _

Stark now looked affronted, but Banner and Steve just laughed. All three of them brought it home together, though Stark and Rogers were still throwing each other bitter looks.

"_Cuz we help save the day…. Yeah, we help save the… daaaaaayyyyy…..." _

_**Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: This one is dedicated to Stacy (Dark Magical Sorcres). You asked for a parody of Backstreet Boys' I Want it That Way. And here it is… We Help Save the Day. I'm not particularly a fan of Backstreet Boys, but I gave it my best shot. **_

_**This was me when I looked up the song to remind myself of the beat and words, cuz it's been a long time since I heard it… Me: *tries not to giggle when the harmonizing comes along* Oh, my God… Tony, Bruce, and Steve… harmonizing… or at least, trying to harmonize… Epic mental images playing through my head… XD **_

_**Alright, I've got to start thinking of more parodies now… lol I will attempt to do a parody of Black Widow, for obvious reasons… I am going to try to force my mind into making something brilliant of Shakira's Hips Don't Lie (for a certain god of mischief… something about "God of Lies", but I still need to work on it XD). I was also suggested to do Let It Go from Frozen, and make it so Coulson is singing about how he is actually alive and not dead… unfortunately, I have not watched Agents of SHIELD, and so do not know how to do that… Sorry :P **_

_**If anyone has any suggestions, I would be exceedingly happy for them. I'm kinda starting to run dry of inspiration, and would love to do some more for you all. **_____

_**Please favorite, follow, review, Pm, suggest, and sing my parodies at school, getting weird looks… spread the word about Avengers Parodies! XD **_


	13. The Moon Song

Helikaraoke

The Moon Song

Steve Rogers lay awake in his bed, staring up at the ceiling and listening to the snoring of Thor and Tony Stark. Clint and Bruce were here, too, but their snoring was much quieter. Captain America was the only one still awake.

He and the other male Avengers were out on a mission, holed up in the tiny house on a corner of a street, keeping an eye on a man down the street who may or may not be "dangerous." Based on the evidence so far, he was not in the least dangerous. Yet Director Fury demanded that they stay in their little house for a while longer and keep him updated.

Steve was finding it harder and harder to find sleep night by night. Now, as he stared up at the ceiling, he was getting an inkling of why… he felt homesick… He missed someone back at Stark Tower.

Natasha. That was it. He missed Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow.

He rolled onto his side, and then onto his stomach, sighing. He was still wide awake, nowhere near falling into unconsciousness. It took him another full five minutes before he gave in and sat up. He stood from his bed and walked silently down the hall, passing the other guys' rooms, where they slept soundly. Rogers envied them.

He made it to the kitchen where the home phone sat on its charger, a little red light glowing on its base. Steve hesitated for only a moment before picking it up and dialing a number.

There was a long moment where the only sound on the other line was ringing. Then there was a slight crackle, and a soft female voice sounded, a little drowsy-sounding. "…Hello?"

"Natasha, it's me," Steve said quietly.

"Oh, hey," she sounded a little surprised, but not upset. "What's wrong? Any breakthrough on the mission?"

"Um… no… I just wanted to talk to you," Steve admitted.

"Ah… it's been a while since we talked," she said softly.

Only the sound of slight crackling on the line.

"Natasha, I can't sleep," Steve sighed.

The line crackled as Natasha repositioned the phone in her hands. "Can't sleep?"

"Yeah…"

"…Do you think I can help?" she asked gently.

"I don't know. I just thought…" he paused. "I was hoping you could."

"Steve, where are you?"

"The kitchen."

"Are you near a window?"

Steve looked around and moved to the kitchen window, brushing the curtain aside. "Yeah. Why?"

"Can you see the moon?" she asked.

Steve looked out, scanning the sky. The moon was there, a sliver in the sky. "Yes."

Natasha cleared her throat quietly. She seemed to hesitate for a long moment, and then she let out a slow breath. Then her voice came through the speaker at Steve's ear, quiet and clear as she sang. _"I'm lying on the moon… My dear, I'll be there soon." _

Steve smiled slightly, listening to her voice. It was soothing, and he could almost feel himself relax as she continued.

_"It's a quiet, starry place, times we're swallowed up in space, we're here a million miles away." _

Steve slowly made his way from the kitchen to the living room, sitting himself on the couch and peering out the window there at a clearer view of the moon outside. He knew that he and Natasha were both looking at it, from their respective places, but still sharing the moon.

_"There's things I wish I knew. There's no thing I keep from you. It's a dark and shiny place, but with you, my dear, I'm safe, and we're a million miles away." _

Steve sighed to himself, listening to her sweet voice. He smiled faintly and slid down so his head rested on the arm of the couch, and he swung his legs up onto the cushion. His eyes remained on the sliver of moon just outside the window, visible between the stars and the slats of the blinds.

_ "We're lying on the moon; it's a perfect afternoon. Your shadow follows me all day, making sure that I'm okay, and we're a million miles away." _

Natasha's voice faded away as she finished the song, and she waited for Steve to say something, to say if that had helped, or if she had a terrible singing voice and now he would have nightmares. But he said nothing.

On the couch, Steve had fallen asleep, listening to Natasha's singing. The phone was still against his ear, the mouthpiece by his lips.

Natasha, sitting on her bed and staring out the window at the moon, smiled softly. The only sound on the other line was soft breathing, and she realized that he had slipped into dreamland. She looked up at the moon again and smiled. She listened to his steady breath for a few more seconds, and then she simply said, "Good night, Steve."

She hung up the phone and lay on her bed, looking at the moon until she fell asleep as well.

**Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: This one, my friends, is not a parody, or even remotely funny… just cute. It was a request from Sportsfan64. We had Natasha singing "The Moon Song" from the movie Her. Since there are no parody lyrics, I cannot put my claimer here… so, I do not own the non-parody lyrics contained in this chapter. If you would like to use them, give credit to the soundtrack of the movie Her. ;) **

**Please favorite, follow, and review… **


	14. Christmas Carols

*I warn you right here and now… I got a little carried away with this one, and it is super long. Like, three times the length of my other one-shots… but it contains little parodies of like four or five Christmas Carols. So sing your heart out about the Avengers on Christmas morning, everyone! This is my Christmas present to you all: songs to sing, get stuck in your head, and to annoy the Helheim out of your families with! Good present, right?

Helikaraoke

Christmas Carols…

Christmas morning, all was quiet… for a little while.

About 6:30 in the morning, two figures tiptoed into the living room of Stark Tower.

"Naomi, what, pray tell, is the purpose of this, exactly?" Loki's voice asked coolly in a whisper.

"The purpose, dear Loki, is that we get to open our presents in peace and quiet. Alone. For once in our smegging lives," Naomi whispered back. "The tree's over here, and the presents should already be under it…"

Suddenly a blaring alarm filled the room, saying "NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY!" over and over again.

Loki and Naomi clapped their hands over their ears, wincing.

"What is this?" Loki yelled over the blaring alarm.

Naomi threw her hands up in a gesture of 'who knows?' "It looks like Stark installed an alarm to make sure no one got up too early to open presents?" she guessed, speaking loudly.

Tony Stark himself then marched into the room, dressed in a red t-shirt, candy cane patterned fuzzy pajama bottoms, and a Santa hat. He strode over to a panel on the wall and tapped something, making the blaring "Naughty Alarm" cease. The room was now silent, with Loki and Naomi looking defiantly at the billionaire. "Someone's been naughty!" Stark proclaimed haughtily.

"Merry Christmas to you, to," Naomi scoffed, crossing her arms over her "Naughty or Nice?" shirt. "It's Christmas morning, Tony. Me and Loki are allowed to get up and open our presents when we want."

Stark shook his head tragically. "Horribly bad manners, you two." He glanced between the couple. Both were already dressed for the day. Evidently they were very much morning people. "For shame, Naoki… you're supposed to wait for everyone else to get up, so we can open presents together, like a big happy family."

Loki snorted. "Right… big happy family," he repeated scornfully. "When exactly did I become part of the Avengers family, might I ask?"

Tony snickered. "Loki… you're adopted," he cackled.

But suddenly a group of people charged into the living room. Steve Rogers (who had evidently been in the middle of shaving; he was in a bathrobe and fleece bottoms, and had a little shaving cream on his chin), Bruce Banner (who looked like he hadn't even gone to bed; he was still wearing the button-up and slacks from the previous night), Natasha Romanoff (who was dressed in silk black pajamas, but looked wide awake), Thor (who looked like he could hardly tell which way was up, he was so barely-awake), and Clint Barton (who had evidently just rolled out of bed, grabbed his bow, and come running).

"What's going on?" Steve asked, looking between Stark, Naomi, and Loki worriedly. "We heard this huge alarm, and—"

"Loki and Naomi were going to open their Christmas presents before we got up," Tony said with an air of a little kid tattling.

The other Avengers looked at each other bemusedly.

"So… what's going on…?" Bruce asked, as if Stark's answer had been totally unrelated to the question.

Tony sighed. "Okay, to prevent things like _this _from happening…" he gestured grandly to Naomi and Loki, standing with their arms crossed. "I installed a vibration sensor next to the tree. If anyone but me went near the tree before I disarmed the sensor, the Naughty Alarm would go off, waking me up so I could properly reprimand them for being rude." He glanced at Naomi and Loki. "You're terribly rude."

Silence as everyone took in this information.

"So… you set an alarm to wake everyone up if anyone got up too early," Steve said slowly, giving the billionaire a disgruntled look. "…Seriously?"

Stark nodded impressively.

Clint let out a grumble and lowered his armed bow. "I'm going back to bed…" he turned on his heel and started to walk away.

"Wait, no!" Naomi exclaimed. "Now that everyone's up… we can open presents!" she said triumphantly. She threw Stark a grin. "Thanks for your little alarm, Tony; now we can open presents."

Everyone let out a quiet groan.

"Naomi, no one is ready to begin their Christmas Day," Thor yawned hugely.

"We are," Loki and Naomi said in unison, eyes shining with mischief.

Everyone turned to glare at Tony.

"This is kind of your fault, Stark," Natasha deadpanned. "You set up the freaking alarm… and now we have to stay up to open presents?"

"You're acting like opening presents is a bad thing," Tony observed.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "No, but waking up at 6:30 in the morning to do it is."

But Naomi and Loki were already sifting through the pile of presents at the bottom of the tree.

"Bruce…" Naomi tossed a present over her shoulder, and the doctor barely managed to catch it. "Clint…" Loki chucked a package towards the archer, who caught it automatically, still appearing to be rather sleepy. "Tony…" Naomi threw the present as hard as she could, managing to hit the man in the stomach, causing him to let out an 'oof!' Naomi smirked with satisfaction and went back to sorting. "Natasha…" a present was tossed to the Black Widow, who caught it easily, as if without even much effort. "Steve…" the captain caught his easily, too. "And… Naomi…" Loki gently handed the present to the Huntress, and she smiled smugly at the fact that she didn't have her present flying through the air towards her. "Thor…" Naomi tossed the package to Thor… who appeared to have fallen asleep while still standing up. The box hit him squarely in the chest and fell to the floor. Thor didn't even wake up… still sleep-standing.

"Someone wake him up," Tony sighed.

Rolling his eyes, Steve tapped Thor's muscular shoulder. No response.

"I didn't know Asgardians could be narcoleptic…" Banner muttered in surprise.

"I've got this," Loki smirked. And suddenly he stood up and strode over to Thor. The god of mischief then planted his hands on Thor's shoulders… and pushed him over. Thor landed with a huge _thump _on the ground, and he woke with a start.

"Whoa! What did I—" he blinked and looked around, brandishing Mjolnir threateningly. He saw the Avengers and his brother standing around looking unimpressed. "Ah, it is still Christmas morning, is it not?" he asked wryly. He stood and picked up his present. He cleared his throat awkwardly and walked to sit on a couch.

"Alright, has everyone got their present?" Banner asked.

Everyone nodded, but Loki frowned.

"Erm… I did not receive my present yet," he said slowly.

Everyone looked around at each other.

"We did Secret Santa's…" Steve said. "So… who got Loki? Who didn't do their part and get a present for their Secret Santa?"

Everyone looked at each other warily.

Tony began humming with a smile on his face. Everyone turned to him.

"Tony, did you not get a present for Loki?!" Naomi shrieked, mouth dropping open in outrage. "Dude, we agreed we were getting a present for whoever we got for our Secret Santa!"

Tony rolled his eyes. "You think Loki deserves a Christmas present?"

"It's terribly rude if you didn't follow the rules," Thor said reproachfully.

Loki glared at Stark, looking slightly hurt. "I'm the only one with no present…?"

Tony laughed uproariously and burst into song. _"You're getting nothin' for Christmas! Mommy and Daddy are mad! You're getting nothin' for Christmas! You ain't been nothin' but bad!" _

Loki's face hardened, and he gave Tony Stark such a death glare, it was amazing that the genius didn't burst into flames on the spot… and then the god of mischief launched himself at the man and tackled him to the ground, arms flailing.

"Whoa! Guys! Stop!" Steve and Thor sprang into action to pull Loki off of Tony.

But Clint Barton was laughing too hard to help. _"Tony got run over by a reindeer…" _

And suddenly the archer was tackled to the ground by both Loki _and _Tony, who evidently decided Clint's song was offensive enough for them to team up together.

"You guys!" Steve exclaimed exasperatedly. "It's Christmas!" He huffed and started trying to yank Tony off while Thor pulled on Loki's arm.

"Would everybody please just calm down?" Natasha asked angrily.

"I agree…" Bruce said. "It's Christmas. Can we please just open our presents and get this over with?"

"I can't open my present," Loki snapped, now standing up, though still trying to get at Clint Barton while Thor held him back. "_Stark _didn't get me one!"

_ "You're getting nothing for Christmas…" _Tony taunted again with a giggle.

"Enough!" Everyone shouted at once.

The room fell silent.

Tony sighed. "Loki, I didn't really get you nothing… I'll be right back…"

Reluctantly, Steve let Stark go, and they watched him walk down the hall to retrieve his Secret Santa present. "Everyone calmed down now?" Rogers asked tiredly.

"Yeah," everyone said in unison. Loki still looked rather upset, but Naomi just pulled him to sit next to her on the couch.

"So…" Bruce said slowly. "How'd everyone sleep?"

Everyone scoffed except Naomi and Loki, who grinned.

"You mean _besides _the gigantic alarm that woke me up about four hours too early…?" Natasha asked huffily, throwing Naomi and Loki a glare.

"It's not our fault," Naomi chided. "It's Tony's… as usual… he set up an alarm. We just wanted to open our presents."

"Loki obviously wouldn't have been able to open his present without Stark getting up anyway," Thor pointed out. "I wonder why he hid the present?"

"Who knows?" everyone sighed in unison.

Tony then came bounding into the room with a large package in his arms, lumpy and not very well wrapped.

"What in the nine realms…?" Loki asked in confusion as Tony dropped the object in his lap. "What is this?" he asked.

Tony smiled. "That's why I hid it… because if I left it out here, you'd spend all day feeling it and prodding it and stuff, and you'd figure out what it was before it was time to open it."

"A decent excuse…" Naomi shrugged. Loki very childishly stuck his tongue out at her. "I didn't say it was a good excuse to fake you out and pretend you didn't _have _a present," she added.

"Alright, are we ready to open them?" Clint asked hopefully.

Everyone nodded in agreement, and Steve told everyone to open them up. There was the sound of wrapping paper rustling and tearing for a moment, and then a lot of "oh!"s and "Cool!"s.

Steve Rogers had received a model World War II plane kit, which he was looking in awe at.

Tony Stark had received a self-help book on egotism, a "B.S. Button" and a medal that proclaimed: "More Intolerable than Loki at Times". But inside the self-help book was a picture of all the Avengers all together at the beach around a campfire, and a gift card too Shawarma.

Natasha had opened her present to find a bath set of lotions, perfumes, body washes, bath salts, and other such products. There was also a small device that would (according to the description on the little box) simulate the sounds of the ocean, rain, waterfall, or songbirds, in order to help the listener relax or go to sleep.

Bruce was happy to find that in his gift was absolutely nothing Hulk or relaxing-related… whoever had been his Secret Santa had focused simply on his interests, and not that of the Hulk. He now held a package of all things necessary for a fully functional miniature rocket, environment-safe. There was also a book on different scientific theories of different subjects.

Clint opened his present and found… a box of Pop Tarts. He could easily guess who his Secret Santa was. He glanced sidelong at Thor and smiled wryly. "Thanks, buddy."

Thor looked surprised at this declaration. "I thought we were not supposed to tell who gave who their presents for this most Secret of Santa's?"

Clint scoffed. "Your gift is a little obvious, Thor…" He also found that there was a beautiful golden ring, which was obviously straight from Asgard. Slipping it onto his finger, he found that it shrank to the perfect size of his finger. Experimentally, he tried it on each finger. it fit itself to whatever finger he put it on. "This is so cool, Thor!"

Thor, however, was captivated by his own gift… a Rubix Cube. He had tossed aside the new cape he had also gotten, and was already transfixed by the little colored boxes fit together. He had somehow managed to make a complete mess of it… everyone suspected he would never have the strategy to put it back in order.

Loki glanced at Naomi. "Really? A mind puzzle for Thor?"

Naomi scoffed. "Who says I got that for him? Though seriously, whoever did it was pretty genius… his blonde head is going to explode with the exertions of his brain…"

Loki snickered and gestured to Naomi's present.

She had opened her present to find a pack of cherry cordials (her favorite chocolate candies) and a box of artist's markers, pencils, and erasers, as well as a book: the first in a series called _Warriors… _and naturally, it was about cats. She sighed. "Freaking stereotyping," she muttered, though secretly not minding all that much about the cat book. She then glanced over to Loki, who was taking the last of the wrapping off his own gift.

Loki's eyes widened, and he looked… surprisingly happy with his gift. The reason the package had been so lumpy was because the gift itself was not something easily wrap-able. It was an intricate statue of a green, black, and gold dragon,, wrapped around a medieval-looking tower. The dragon's head rose just above the tower's peak, and its blue eyes peered at its viewer intimidatingly. Loki gaped at the gift. "Stark… this is…" he wiped the awed look off his face and replaced it with disinterest. "It will suffice," he said briskly.

But everyone had seen the happy wonder on his face. Naomi elbowed him in the ribs, and Stark looked proud of himself.

"Everyone happy with their gifts?" Stark asked happily, looking around at everyone else, who nodded in assent. "Good. Now… Let's light up the tree, shall we?" He stood and crossed to the tree. He knelt on the ground, found the plug, and crawled under the branches to plug in the socket. "And… let there be light!" he exclaimed.

There was a fizzing sound, crackling, and then the entire room went black. Silence. Stunned silence.

"…Tony?" Steve asked cautiously.

"Wait, wait, wait," the genius's voice said in a mumble. "Hang on… the entire building just short-circuited… don't know what happened… the entire… the arc reactor… supposed to run for a year… should have a good four months left…"

"Did you somehow for get to install circuit breakers…?" Banner asked sarcastically.

"Of course I installed circuit breakers!" Stark exclaimed. "I don't know why the power…" There was the sound of shuffling around the room. "I mean… I don't know how…"

"Let's just find some candles and continue with Christmas," Natasha suggested.

Tony groaned. "Yeah, okay."

Tony slid out from under the tree and stood up.

"Who! Look, light!" Naomi exclaimed.

"What?" Tony asked.

"Stark, your arc reactor…" she explained. "It works as an excellent flashlight!"

It was true. Tony's little circle of light in the center of his chest was casting an eerie glow around the room, providing them with a ghostly light.

"Sweet. Now let's go find some candles," Clint said happily.

"Eh… little problem with that," Tony said slowly. "I don't have any candles."

Everyone blinked. "You don't keep candles handy in case of power outages?" Bruce asked incredulously.

"No… the power has never gone out before," Stark protested.

Steve let out a long note in a hum. Then he began singing. "_Well, Tony Stark's planning is frightful…. But his arc reactor's light's delightful. And we don't have any candles, so…" _

_ "Let it glow, let it glow, let it glow!" _everyone but Stark sang together.

Stark scoffed. "Did we really just go there?"

"Yes. Yes, we did," Loki said seriously.

Everyone giggled.

"Well, this could be a whole lot worse," Thor said fairly. "We could have no light whatsoever… And besides, we are together now. And we have all received our presents… I would say this is actually a nice Christmas morning."

"Except there's no freaking light," Clint muttered.

"Shut up, Clint," Natasha scolded.

"Yeah, good will towards man and all that…" Loki smirked.

Naomi poked him repeatedly at this statement. "Except you're Jotun… not man. So… we're allowed to be mean to you and Thor, right?" she asked brightly.

"Shame on you, Naomi," Tony snickered. "Seriously. We've got no power… and it's still only like 6:45 in the morning. What are we going to do?"

"Simple: we'll sing Christmas carols," Steve said, sounding sincere.

Everyone else laughed. "Oh, funny, Captain… Singing, indeed… Yeah, right…" various Avengers said dismissively.

"Wait… I think we may be passing up a valuable opportunity here," Loki said, surprising everyone else. "Do we not enjoy singing songs?"

"No, we enjoy singing _parodies _of songs," Natasha corrected.

"Then sing parodies of songs," Loki said, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. And maybe it was.

Everyone was silent for a moment. "Christmas carol parodies?" Banner asked, sounding intrigued. "I mean… like what?"

Naomi began tapping her foot against the floor to create a beat. _"Oh, dashing through New York, after a Chitauri sleigh… through the streets we go… shooting all the way! Bang, bang ,bang! Cap's throwing his shield… Thor's lightning is bright… How fun it is to save the world in a giant action fight! Ooh, jingle bells, Fury smells, Hawk Eye laid an egg! The Helicarrier lost a propellier, and Loki got away! Hey!"_ she finished brightly, and everyone chuckled except for Hawk Eye, who was rather offended by the implications of him laying an egg.

"Okay, what next?" Naomi asked excitedly.

Tony cleared his throat. _"Deck the halls with reindeer antlers!" _

_ "Fa la la la la, la la la la!" _Everyone chimed together.

_ "Fill the day with playful banter!" _Loki sang out.

_ "Fa la la la la, la la la la!" _everyone finished.

_ "Don we now our Santa Clause hats!" _everyone sang together. _"Fa la la la la, la la la la!" _

_ "Usually, we just wear combats!" _Clint and Natasha chorused. _"Fa la la la la, la la la la!" _

_ "Save the Earth from Thor's little brother! Fa la la la la, la la la la! Still, we argue with each other! Fa la la la la, la la la la! Fa la la la la, la la la la!" _they sang. By this point, everyone's mood had brightened considerably… except Loki, who was still rolling his eyes at the second to last line of the Deck the Halls parody, muttering something about 'not my brother.'

There was a moment as everyone tried to think of more Christmas carols.

Bruce Banner cleared his throat. _"On the first day of Christmas, we found out… that Tony can't plug in a tree…." _

"Waitwaitwait!" Tony cut in. "Are we seriously using that for the first day of Christmas?"

"It rhymes with the original," Natasha observed coolly. "And it's true…"

Tony grumbled, then snickered. "Fine… but only if…" He then broke into song, too. _"On the second day of Christmas, we found out… Naoki is in love, and that Tony can't plug in a tree!" _

"Excuse you?!" Naomi protested.

"That was uncalled for!" Loki exclaimed, pointing a finger in the air. Both of the two were blushing madly, though it wasn't visible in the faint light of the arc reactor.

"Come on," Steve coaxed. "If we're making fun of Tony for the first day, we'll have you two for the second."

And so several minutes later, they were nearly out of breath from the unbelievable song length.

Everyone took a long breath in before slowly beginning the last day of Christmas.

_ "On the twelfth day of Christmas, we found out…" _Everyone took a deep breath._ "Naomi's good at drumming, we're all quite good at griping, Avengers like a-sleeping Natasha's good at sassing, Tony's always drinking, Thor's hair needs a trimming, Loki likes betraying," _Everyone broke off and took another deep breath for the next line, which they all shouted out_ "We all like to siiiiinnggg!" _they sighed and had to finish the song, taking another gasp of air before going on. _"Banner is a nerd, Fury lied again, Naoki is in love, and…"_ A final breath to bring it in for a finish… _"And Tony can't plug in a treeeeee!" _

Everyone then collapsed back in their seat, out of breath from the song.

"Are we done here?" Steve asked tiredly.

"I don't think I could sing anymore if I wanted to," Clint mumbled.

Thor was already snoring again.

"Well…" Natasha said. "That was surprisingly fun…"

"Merry Christmas, everyone," Naomi smiled as she snuggled against a panting Loki's shoulder.

"Merry Christmas," everyone agreed.

Just then, the power flickered back to life, and the Christmas tree's lights were brought to life as well, casting rainbow lights over the heroes. Everyone just smiled faintly and sighed contentedly.

**Note from LoquaciousQuibbler: Well, this one was incredibly long… So… the songs included in this extremely long oneshot are: "I'm Getting Nothing For Christmas". This one I simply changed to "You," so I don't really own the parody lyrics… "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer," which I simply used one line, so I don't really own those parody lyrics, either… "Let It Snow," which I do own the parody lyrics of Let It Glow, "Jingle Bells," which I own most of those lyrics… part of it was taken from that Batman parody we all know and love, and just Avenger-fied. Still, I came up with the Avengers version, so they're mine… "Deck the Halls," which I do own the parody lyrics of in this chapter… and "12 Days of Christmas." That one took me forever… You know how hard it is to find a relevant word to replace "dancing" and "swimming?" Anyways, I ended up parodying a lot of songs in this one, so I hope that excuses its unbelievable length… And I didn't make this one just about the songs. I included a little Naoki, and a lot of just general Avengers bonding. I hope you all liked it. **

**Merry Christmas to you all, and a Happy New Year if I don't update before 2015 comes around. **

**Please favorite, follow, and review if you don't want Tony to hide your Christmas present and pretend you're not getting one… or if you don't want your power to go out on Christmas morning… As always, requests are welcome. **


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